its 14 august now 2007

knowing wesley close to 5months.
being with him for close to 4months.

i somehow understand wat kindof person he is n this worries me.
he isnt someone who plans things very well n he isnt someone who understands wat other ppl r talking abt.

told him million times many thing but he just nv understands.

he's good to me definintely in many ways n perhaps bcoz of this im always taking him forgranted.
haiz.. now he told me he got a 20k thing to settle at work. i rather this is just lies or i can just hope it can be solved.

told him alot of times dun keep calling me but he very hard to control.
he always thinks very negatively n thinks its true. just like me.
he dun let me talk to other guys or go out with them. just like me.
he dun like me to play computer. he always wants me to sleep with him even when i cant sleep. cant he understand?
he nv tells me abt his money things.
he says he sends money back to his family n to his sister.
how much he earn he dun tell me but i always feel its alot. his commission should come in every friday.

ytd he just told me abt the 20k problem. i feel he wants me to help me coz just the day b4 i told him abt junhui cheated my mom 4k thing.

haiz. money money. how much money have he already spent on me this 5months of knowing me. more than 10k is a comfirmation.

wat is life all abt.

n im dependant on him to take care of my things. sweep n mop my room, cook for me. buy me everything i want n need. prepare water for me. take things for me. everything.
let's see how things will be the next time i come back ba.

i do love him. not super love. but i know i do love him n i need him too.
sometimes i really feel i duno wat life is abt without him.
but i dun really see a future for us. i duno man. i really duno.

feeling contradicted always..